E26 – Planned Birth Centre Then Decision to Homebirth at 37 Weeks – Inspiring Birth Story

“I’ve had this inkling,” I said to my doula, rather sheepishly at 37.5 weeks pregnant, “that I’d like to home birth.” “Yeah?” she replied, totally unsurprised. This was the words from Joelle describing her empowering and supported home birth.

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This episode looks deep into the decision making processes surrounding birth and as Joelle describes getting wrapped into the ‘program’ of having a baby. Joelle is a mother of 2 children, her first was an transformative experience from maiden to motherhood in a birth centre. During her second pregnancy Joelle somehow knew that she was heading to the decision to have a home birth. And sitting with her Doula one day she decided to go for it. Joelle having worked in the health and wellness industry for some time is no stranger to taking charge of your health, body and responsibility for your ultimate wellness and right to make our own choices. So begins the process in the last weeks to come…

From here I am going to extract Joelles words in the blog post she wrote, this was the writing that captured my freedom seeking heart. Joelle speaks heart and shares her experience to only broaden our prospective. Remember here below is a person sharing her story, listen with openess and kind heart and you will be amazed at how able we really are to birth and connect within to our biological processes…..

 

 

 

 

Written by Joelee:

“I’ve had this inkling,” I said to my doula, rather sheepishly at 37.5 weeks pregnant, “that I’d like to home birth.”
“Yeah?” she replied, totally unsurprised.

And so began the ping pong game between my thinking (and often fearful) mind and my ever trusting body. A game of weighing up the risks and the costs of birthing home against the shivering self empowerment I knew was on offer if I could just really, finally, lean into the primal and universal capability of my being and body. If I could trust my body – a thing that had felt so separate from myself for so many years in my past.

The process began with an investigation as to how to get a midwife to attend the birth. If we could get a midwife there, my doubts and fears were severely alleviated, I would go ahead for sure. This was unsuccessful… Really, with only two independent midwives covering our entire region, this late along my pregnancy, and frankly, a financial burden I could not afford, my chances were pretty slim.

I made more phone calls, had more discussions, and the ping pong match intensified as it looked like the only option we had now was to “free birth”… at home, no medical attendant. My mind was not so happy, but my heart would not let go.

I journalled and meditated on the idea, and got an overwhelming message from my body – “I am trusted to grow a baby from virtually nothing, and relied upon to feed a baby from my own resources, but I am not trusted to brith this same baby… Don’t take this rite of passage away from me”, it urged.

I knew, at the depths of me that this was what I was being asked to step into next. A free birth, with total trust in my self and my body was my next level of growth and expansion.

“Let’s do it” I said to my partner. “I’ll order some more towels.”

I wrote my birth plan, including contingencies and “if this happens, then do this” options. We talked over at what point we might go to the hospital to birth there, or call an ambulance if it came to that. I felt comfortable that I had the back up I needed. I had a wonderful birth team in place – my doula, and my partner – both of whom heId the space for me better than I could have imagined. I took on the ultimate responsibility and full commitment to listen to my body, to be utterly in my birthing experience so I would know exactly what I needed and when.

So it went, an all-night labour, (with just a few humps in the road). After about 12 hours, my attention was drawn inward like never before. I could intricately feel our baby moving rhythmically up and down the birth canal, up, down, pressure on, pressure less. Within minutes, I delivered a beautiful, healthy boy, his squishy face pressing right into my own hands, right there in the hallway of our home. No issues, no tearing, no fuss. I have no doubt his calm arrival was due to my patience and peace in this moment. My labour and birth was pressureless, respectful, peaceful and free to move and flow as it needed to. Along with this amazing new soul in our lives, I walked into a new realm of self trust and empowerment that I would never have dreamed possible. A new reverence and respect for my physical body I have never known.

I cannot imagine having missed out on this step in my journey – as a mother, a woman and a human being.

And yet, less than about 0.5% of all births are home-based. That means that 99.5% of women won’t get to experience what I was offered. I’m not saying you can’t be empowered in a birth centre or hospital birth. Of course you can, if you choose to be (and I did in the birth of my first child), but for me, being at home was the ultimate. I understand there are certainly circumstances where medical births and what they bring (birth centre, hospital, interventions, whatever) are totally necessary, but surely more than 0.5% of pregnant women are healthy and fully capable to give birth in their own homes, with or without medical support. And perhaps some of that 0.5% (and I’d suggest even more women) would choose to give birth in their own homes if the obstacles weren’t so great. And that, there in, is the point.

We live in a world where we’ve invested all our energy and trust outside of ourselves. We’ve outsourced birthing to a team of medical professionals in white latex gloves, with all their shiny instrumentation and gauges. We’ve outsourced the two things in this life that our bodies will do with absolute certainty, with or without our intellect : birth and death. And we’ve actually made it really hard to do these things at home or in any environment we choose. The serious lack of independent attending midwives, the sky-high insurance costs, the lack of funding, the judgement and fear from medical professionals, our social conditioning and family pressures… the list is long.

It’s not easy, and it never will be. But birthing, provided all is well in pregnancy, and provided the birthing mother is free, able and willing to really be in her body, is inherently safe. We’ve been taught to be afraid of it, which has done nothing but disempower us and degrade our connection to and trust in our own bodies. Which, in a crazy little loop, only serves to create more complications in birthing! (The downstream hormonal effect of fear and control actually tightens us up and halts the process of labour. Calm, trusting and loving feelings allow the necessary hormonal cascades of the physiology of birth to flow freely.)

Having said all this, in no way am I suggesting a woman simply jumps into home birth (especially free birth) upon the principle of simply “trusting”. What does that even mean? We grow up in a world that certainly doesn’t cultivate the ability to listen to or fully trust in our bodies. Quite the opposite, actually. When the body is calling to us via symptom or health complaint, our culture is to silence it (think: panadol for a headache.) If we can’t listen to the smallest of messages (like the headache or gut pain) how can we expect to tap into something as significant as birth? The conversation really needs to begin with how we can listen to our bodies and their messages and perhaps, how come we might be resistant to listening in the first place. If this is terrain in which we aren’t comfortable, then that’s the first step.

I share my experience and my perspective not to criticise others and their choices. The bottom line is this : women’s birth choices are their own, and made wherever they are in they journeys at that moment in time. This must be respected, whatever the choice. I do however, believe that choices made from a basis of fear do not truly serve anyone. My decision to birth at home was a difficult, yet undeniable choice for me to make. It was the choice of love and trust – for and in myself and my baby.

I share my experience so that some woman somewhere – maybe you, who feels the pull and power of a home birth (or any other kind of empowering birth for that matter) but is meeting resistance she is unsure she can move through, might decide to trust instead. Might just decide to take her power back and consciously choose her own birthing experience for herself. Whatever that may be.

From Joelle

“I have a whole new respect for my body that I never thought possible..“

“I have reached a new level of comfort, trust and respect for my own self.. “

“Listening to your intuition, that sense,  is always right“

“That worked, because you consciously chose it, because you knew it was right for YOU“

“Its possible to feel this way after birth no matter what your choice, if you can honour your self and choose consciously.“

“I cannot imagine having missed out on this step in my journey – as a mother, a woman and a human being”.

 

Connect with Joelle

Website: http://www.alignhealth.com.au/team/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alignhealthcoaching?ref=hl

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alignhealth/

On January 5, 2017   /   Birth Stories, Podcasts   /   Leave a comment